soltian: (caile)
[personal profile] soltian
does anyone still even follow me here good lord ;;; I don't even...get it, like the moment that I finally came back to this bright clear discussion-oriented layout I felt like I was in heaven. HOW IS EVERYONE DOING, TELL ME ABOUT YOUR RECENT LIFE EVENTS!!

I am MOVING soon! Not to anywhere different as far as location, but to a house instead of a tiny apartment, with a third beloved roommate, and dear god I cannot wait but it's going to be so much work.

also I think I failed to even mention I have a job now? and I cleared all my debt to DLLR, though that's a more recent development. and um. I'm working on a comic..and hopefully overall improving my art, though I have not made any significant jumps recently ugh.

I also just finished a really porny Rush one shot and I'm REALLY HAPPY it did not turn into a monster epic like The Northern Sea did. I finished that, though, even though it caused me two minor mental breakdowns. I am a very weak and sad writer.

I'm...really excited for Thor 2 but also really scared for what the fandom will be like after the movie comes out. I'm not particularly frightened about what anyone will do, per se, but it's gotten kind of unfathomably massive since the Avengers came out and I spend too much time on tumblr (I should probably cut down, a lot) and I get really...dragged down and overstimulated just by the constant flow an repetition of images. I think that's probably part of the reason I had this kind of sobby reaction finally opening up LJ again, because it reminds me of the early Thor fandom (which was my own return to fandom after a long, painful, unintentional break), the first rounds of Norsekink, and all the fics that are still by FAR my favorite, because as the quantity has gone up, not only has my perception of the quality gone down (my favorite authors left/stopped writing and I have always been incredibly scared of sifting through shitty fic) but the entire fandom focus seems in general to be very, for lack of better words, "tumblr-minded" - "give me as much as possible as fast as possible and let me literally DROWN myself in churned out imagery/gifs/videos ect until I can barely think" - which gets overwhelming for me very quickly, as well as aids in actually totally killing my personal passion for something. Not permanently, but I need to take some huge steps back - but THEN I don't feel like I'm actually involved or interacting in the fandom - OK RANT GETTING CUT SHORT BECAUSE I HAVE TO GO TO WORK but I wonder if anyone gets what I mean by this discombobulated crap I'm spewing.
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July 2014

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